


Let my arms be your fortress

by shiro_yuu



Series: When you fall I'll be there to help you to get up [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Mental Health Issues, basically they are cute, blanket fort, implied - tsukiyama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 05:37:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8150995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiro_yuu/pseuds/shiro_yuu
Summary: Sometimes you need to build a fortress around yourself so you can hide from the world. But sometimes the you find your fortress on another person's body.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LikaNightmare](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LikaNightmare/gifts).



> This story is for my best friend in honour of our desire to build a blanket fort.
> 
> I'm coming from a huge writing block, so this story is not as good as it should be. Sorry >_

The first thing Asahi noticed when he entered the gym on that rainy Monday was that something was out of place. He didn’t know what it was, but something was out of place. Asahi looked around, his brown eyes scrutinizing the place slowly; trying to find what was making him feel like something was off. At first sight everything seemed alright, Suga and Daichi were talking to Prof. Takeda, Hinata and Kageyama were fighting about the net not being assembled right, Tsukishima were whispering something to Yamaguchi that made the boy blush faintly, and all the second years were stretching on the corner. Well, almost of them. Tanaka and Noya were missing and that’s when Asahi understood what was wrong with the gym. Apart from Hinata and Kageyama endless bickering, the gym was weirdly quiet without the punk duo.

Asahi frowned at the fact that Nishinoya wasn’t there, because the libero usually was one of the first ones to get to the gym, always eager to start training. Maybe he had something to do in class, but Asahi was pretty sure that today wasn’t Noya’s cleaning day. Against his own will, Asahi started to get worried about the small libero, even thought the boy was only five minutes late for practice. 

Asahi heard the gym doors opening and turned around quickly, expecting to see the bright smile that could overshadow the sun by the door. But Noya wasn’t there. Tanaka greeted them, apologizing for being late and then runned to Daichi and Suga, quickly talking something to them and then running to do his stretching with the others second years. Asahi’s frown deepened because something must be really wrong to Tanaka to come alone.

Coach Ukai finally entered the gym, Prof. Takeda rushing to whisper something to him and they exchanged a few words before Coach Ukai clapped his hands to drag everyone’s attention to him.

“Nishinoya is sick today, so we’ll have to train without our libero. It’s a good opportunity to you to train your receive skills without leaning too much on the libero.”, Coach Ukai said.

“Is Noya-senpai okay?”, Hinata asked and Asahi thanked him mentally.

“Hum.”, Tanaka started and everyone looked at him, “He was feeling a little off since Friday and apparently it got worse during the weekend, so he’s resting at home right now.”

“What does he has?”, Ennoshita was the one who asked now.

“Hm. Maybe he got the flu or something.”, Tanaka answered, fidgeting a bit. Tanaka’s eyes crossed path with Asahi’s and the bald kid quickly looked somewhere else, “I’m sure he’ll be fine soon”

“Well, you can all worry about Nishinoya later. Now you have to practice. “, Ukai said. “Let’s start running a bit around the court.”

This way everyone dispersed and started the laps around the court. Running inside was boring and they didn’t like it too much, but with the pouring rain outside they hadn’t any option. Asahi didn’t really mind have to run inside, but he was too much worried about Noya to want to practice right now. He also didn’t understand why Noya hadn’t told him about sickness during the weekend even though they had talked pretty much from morning to late night. Asahi knows that they were just dating for a month now, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit left off for not knowing that something was happening with his boyfriend. Also the fact that Tanaka was definitively avoiding him was getting him a little more upset with the whole situation. Couldn’t Noya trust him too?

The whole afternoon passed through them slowly. Coach Ukai was being harsh with them today, making it seem that the time hadn’t passed at all since they started running on the wooden floor. Even though the weather was cold and the rain hadn’t stopped since the first hours of the morning, in the end of the day they were all sweaty and disgusting. Coach Ukai had been so unbearably harsh to them that Asahi had forgot about the whole Noya issue until he was on the locker room after he had showered, dressing his uniform

“Asahi-san?”, Tanaka called and when Asahi turned around to talk with the boy he saw that they were the only ones inside the place.

“Is everything fine?”, Asahi asked worried. Tanaka had been acting weird the entire day and now Asahi was getting uneasy about it.

“Well, maybe…”, Tanaka started, breathing deeply, “He’ll probably kill me for this, but I think you should go to Noya’s house and give him his homework.”

“What’s happening with Noya?”, Asahi’s heart started to run fast, a million of thoughts crossing his mind and not a single one of them were good.

“He’s just… Not feeling well.”, Tanaka fidgeted a little on his place, before turning his back to Asahi and started to search for something on his bag.”I think he’ll appreciate your visit… Well, I hope he will.”

“He’s not injured, is he?”,Asahi asked, biting down his own lip, but holding the notebooks that Tanaka had handed to him.

“Just… Just go there. Ok?”, Tanaka asked, his fingers uneasy on his backpack strap.

“Ok. See you tomorrow.”, Asahi said, walking out the locker room while putting the notebooks inside his bag.

Asahi knew where Nishinoya lived, so he didn’t need to stop to ask the address to anyone. In fact he was so familiar with the path that his feet were almost doing it without him even look. Asahi’s mind was racing against him, all his thoughts always falling on the worst alternatives possible to what was happening to Noya. Tanaka said that the small libero wasn’t injured, so Asahi should’ve got a little bit calmer. But he actually started to got more and more nervous because what if Noya was having something serious?

After a quick stop by the konbini to buy something to Mrs. Nishinoya, Noya’s grandmother, he finally reached the porch of the small libero’s house. Taking deep breathes to calm himself, Asahi knocked on the door and waited.

Mrs. Nishinoya opened the door after a bit, dressed on winter clothes and appearing tot e ready to go out. Noya’s grandmother was a small woman, a little bigger than her grandson, well cared long gray hair tied on a neat bun, sharp eyes that glint dangerously and vividly even though she’s already sixty-four years old. Everything on Nishinoya resemble on her and Asahi often asked himself how Noya’s parents was when they were alive, but he never had the heart to ask about it. Mr. and Mrs. Nishinoya died on a robbery on a store when Noya was eight and he was living with his grandmother since then. 

“Azumane!”, Mrs. Nishinoya smiled brightly at him, giving him space to enter the house, “Come in, dear, get out of the rain.”

“Hi, Nishinoya-san.”, Asahi smiled warmly at her, entering the house and taking out his shoes, ”I come to give Noya his homework. I heard that he’s sick.”

“Oh. You know how he gets once in a while. I’m sure he’ll be fine soon.”, Mrs. Nishinoya smile didn’t flinch, but her eyes darkened a bit. “He’s on his bedroom, you can go there. I need to go to the supermarket, it would be good if you could make him some company while I’m out.”

Without knowing what to say, Asahi only nodded and watched Mrs. Nishinoya walking away until her lavender with white polka dots umbrella got out of his sight. He then took a deep breath, suddenly not sure of what to do. So he closed the door slowly, locking it up and walking through the hall down to Noya’s bedroom door. Truth to be told, Asahi had no idea of what Mrs. Nishinoya was talking and again he felt left out. Was he intruding on something he isn’t supposed to know?

Asahi knocked three times before opening the door carefully and stepping inside the room. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t this. Noya’s bedroom was illuminated at half light, the light on the ceiling was off but there’s a light source in the floor, inside of what Asahi could say without doubt that was a blanket fort. The blanket fort was build with countless white and blue sheets tied together and suspended in the middle of the bedroom like a camping tent, using Noya’s bed, chair, bookcase and television as pillars. Something in the middle was giving the fort a triangular shape and Asahi supposed it was the old hatstand that usually is beside the living room door. Asahi could also see the tip of the futon coming out from where probably the door was, the sheets used as walls were also spread on the floor. There was also a lot of clothespin keeping everything together. The blanket for looked like a ball of light, somehow illuminated from inside.

“Noya..?”, Asahi called in a soft tone, walking to the side of the blanket fort where he noticed it has a crack.

When Asahi crouched to look inside, he was surprised of how pretty the blanket fort was from inside. Asahi had always questioned on his head why Noya had so many pillows and cushions, but now all of them make sense. Tucked under the futon, coming from the ceiling of the fort, were another sheets wall, the pillows spread around the perimeter to weigh against the futon and keep this second wall well stuck there. In the middle stood, as Asahi suspected, the hatstand, glowing lightly with the fairy lights wound around it. But the fairy lights weren’t the only source of light inside the blanket fort. In the far corner was a lampshade with a geometrical form and a lot of small dots on its surface, the pattern of the little light dots on the ceiling of the blanket fort looking like a starry sky. Asahi was surprised of how big the blanket fort actually was, two people could easily sleep inside even with the hatstand in the middle.

Noya was lying almost in the middle, curled up on his side, hugging a blanket. His hair was down and from what Asahi could see of his body that was out of the thick blanket, he was in pajamas. Noya was also with headphones and closed eyes.

“Oh, you’re sleeping.”, Asahi said and as if on cue, Nishinoya opened his eyes and turned to face him. Asahi smiled, “Hi.”

“A-Asahi?”, Noya’s voice was hoarse as if he hadn’t use it in a while. He slowly sat on his knees, taking out the headphones from his ears, “What are you doing here?”

Asahi took a good look at Nishinoya before answer. Noya seemed tired, he had dark circles under his swollen eyes and Asahi wondered if he was crying. The oversized sweatshirt that Noya was wearing made him look even smaller than he truly was. Asahi looked Noya up and down, sighing and frowning because Noya seemed so little like Noya that even his usually bright eyes were opaque.

“Tanaka asked me to bring your homework and then your grandmother asked me to stay with you while she’s in the supermarket.”, Asahi explained and Noya frowned at him.

“They shouldn’t have bothered you with those kind of things.”, Noya scowled before sighing, “You can go, Asahi. Don’t worry.”

“I promised to your grandmother that I would stay here with you. So you will need to put up with me for a while, alright?”, Asahi smiled gently at the small libero, who sighed.

“I’m going to kill Ryuu.”, Noya said, crawling to the side so Asahi would have room to get into the blanket fort.

Asahi crawled into the fort, careful to not knock anything down in accident. Noya fidgeted a little, looking to his knees.

“Do you want me to stay outside?”, Asahi asked unsure, because he was feeling like he was somehow trespassing Noya’s personal space.

“No!”, Noya hushed, looking at him with wide eyes,” It’s just because it’s the first time that someone stay inside with me. Ryuu usually stay outside.”

“Are you really sure you don’t want me to stay outside, then? I’ll not me upset or anything.”, Asahi tried to reassure the libero but Noya shook his head in denial.

“Stay inside with me.”, Noya said, lying down again but this time on his back.

Asahi decided to lie down beside him, also on his back. They stayed like that, staring at the ceiling of the blanket fort for a while. Asahi didn’t know what to say, but he also knew that he needed to say something. They couldn’t stay in silent until Mrs. Nishinoya went back to the house.

“Tanaka said….”, Asahi started, eyes glued on the ceiling, “That you got the flu. But I guess he was lying, right?”

“Yeah.”, Noya agreed, closing his eyes, “Sometimes everything becomes too much and I need a time out.”

“Too much?”, Asahi asked without understanding.

Noya sighed heavily and Asahi turned his face so he could look at Noya’s face.

“The school and also volleyball. It’s hard to deal with it sometimes. Then I start to cry because of nothing and sometimes I have outburst of anger. I don’t want everyone to see me like this so I stay inside.”, Noya explained, his voice small and pained. “I don’t want the team to see me like this and mostly I don’t want you to see this. It’s ugly and none of you deserve to deal with me when I’m like this.”

“Noya…”, Asahi started, but then stopped because he noticed that Noya seemed to still want to say something.

“It’s not like I don’t trust you or that I want to let you out. But, you’re used to me always being happy and excited… I didn’t want to break the enchantment.”, Noya breathed out, biting down his own lip, “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry of, Noya.”, Asahi said, slowly raising his hand and touching Noya’s cheek with the back of his knuckles, caressing softly.

“I do. Because we are dating and I keep secrets from you. But you’re on your third year and I don’t want you to worry about my mental health while you have to deal with school.”, Noya frowned and Asahi felt warm tears running down his fingers.

“Noya, I can do both. Worry about you will not hind my grades or something. Give me some credit, I’m a coward but I’m not dumb.”, Asahi said without bite, smiling softly when Noya chuckles lightly.

“I can’t call anyone dumb…”, Noya said half smiling half crying, “My grades are so red and small that I’m almost calling them Yaku.”

They both laughed openly at this and Asahi could almost hear Nekoma’s libero snarling at them.

“Why a blanket fort…?”, Asahi asked after they had calmed down.

“It’s safe.”, Noya said, looking at the ceiling and blinking slowly, “Safe and cozy. I feel like nothing could reach me when I’m inside.”

“What do you fear?”, Asahi asked while he moved his body so he could lie on his side and look at Noya’s profile.

“Myself, I think. But also everything.”, Noya frowned again, thinking of how to explain everything. “I don’t know when it’ll be a crying crisis or an anger outburst. Sometimes are both.”

“You know we would never judge you, right?”, Asahi asked.

“I know.” Noya sighed and nodded, his left hand finding place on his own hair and he intertwined his little fingers with the bleached locks on his fringe. “But I don’t want you all to see me like this. I can be pretty mean when I’m like this and I don’t want to down this on anyone.”

“But you let Tanaka in…”, Asahi commented. It’s not like he was jealous, he actually wanted to know what Tanaka did so he could do the same.

“Ryuu… He understands this better than I, to be honest. When we met on middle school I was still on medications, so I think he get used to this through the years.”, Noya said pensive.

“You used medications?”, Asahi asked gingerly, not wanting to push Noya’s limits.

“Yeah. I started the treatment when my parents were killed. But when I was around eleven I decided to stop and granny agreed with it. I wasn’t feeling like myself.”, Noya explained, closing his eyes again as if remembering. “I went back to them when we fought last year. But they made me slow and I felt like a ghost, so I stopped again.”

“I’m sorry for pushing you back into this.”, Asahi whispered, biting down his lip.

“It wasn’t completely your fault. I was on a bad, bad day… I got too angry for what had happened and lost my self-control.”, Noya said sheepishly, turning his face to look at Asahi, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have screamed with you that day.”

Asahi shook his head, his hand moving to cup Noya’s cheek carefully, “You were right back then, I was giving up and it was wrong.”

Noya closed his eyes when Asahi started to caress his cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. Noya’s tiny hand found place on Asahi’s shirt, holding it between his fingers and pulling Asahi to himself slowly. Asahi slid to near the small libero, his arm passing around Noya’s thin waist once he had dropped his hand from Noya’s face. They kissed, calm and sweet.

“I’m sorry for keep this as a secret.”, Noya whispered once they had parted their lips.

“Shh. It’s something personal, Yuu. You shouldn’t say about it to anyone if you’re not comfortably with it.”, Asahi whispered, his lips brushing softly against Noya’s.

They kissed again, their lips connecting slowly as if they had the whole world just for themselves and they didn’t need to rush. Noya’s hands cupped Asahi’s cheeks while they kissed, the right one reaching up to the bun on the back of Asahi’s head and untying it. Asahi dropped his hand a bit more, just enough to slide it up again, this time underneath Noya’s sweatshirt. Asahi held Noya’s waist firmly and Noya gasped softly against his lips.

“Yuu? Azumane?”, Mrs. Nishinoya called from outside the room and they part their lips quickly.

“Yes, granny?”, Noya asked, raising his voice a little.

“Oh, you’re talking again…”, Mrs. Nishinoya said and they could hear the fond smile on her voice, “I’m going to make dinner, alright?”

“Ok”, Noya agreed and soon they heard Mrs. Nishinoya’s steps moving away down the hall.

“I need to go…”, Asahi whispered once Noya’s attention was back on him.

“Can’t you stay today…?”, Noya asked unsure, looking at Asahi with cute pink cheeks.

“You want me to stay the night?”, Asahi asked surprised.

“I… Yes. The fort seems safer with you inside.”, Noya’s voice was only a bit louder than a whisper and his cheeks got even redder.

“I’ll call my mom, then.”, Asahi smiled, kissing Noya’s forehead fondly.

 

-

 

They were back into the blanket fort after dinner, Asahi had already changed his clothes for the spare ones that he had on Noya’s wardrobe. Even thought they were dating for only a month, they friendship had got strong since both of them were back on the volleyball team and Asahi ended up spending a lot of nights on Noya’s house playing video games, which cause him to have spare clothes there. Noya had snuggled against Asahi’s chest and the ace was playing with his small boyfriend’s hair, his eyes already closed.

“Asahi…”, Noya called, keeping his eyes down while drawing abstract patterns on Asahi’s chest.

“Hm?”, Asahi murmured in acknowledge.

“Do you think I should tell the team?”, Noya asked, still not looking up.

“About this?”, Asahi opened his eyes to look down to his boyfriend.

“Yes, I… I don’t think it’s fair for me to keep hiding it from them.”, Noya shrugged a little, sighing, “Because sometimes I need to stay away for a couple days and I wish they knew that it’s not because I don’t want to be there, but because I physically can’t be around people.”

“You don’t _need_ to tell them, but if you want to them to know, I think its ok. Besides, I don’t think they would react badly.”, Asahi said thoughtful, his fingers never stopping caressing Noya’s hair.

“But you think I should?”, Noya asked, finally lifting his face so he could see Asahi.

“If it’ll make you feel better, I don’t see a problem. I just don’t want you to force yourself to open up with the team just because you feel like you owe them something.”, Asahi said in a very serious tone, because he didn’t want to Noya to do something that he might be uncomfortable with.

“It’s not that I think that I owe something, but I really want to be more open about it. The doctor said it might help and I want to try.”, Noya explained, blinking softly when Asahi started to caresses his cheek, “Besides, the hardest part is over now that you know.”

“Talk to me was that difficult to you?”, Asahi asked, worried that somehow he was cornering Noya until he felt uncomfortable to talk about those kind of things with him.

“Because I don’t want you to see me as a weak person, it is hard to show you this side of me. I want you to always see me that someone that you can rely and not someone that need to be protected or something.”, Noya said, avoiding his gaze.

It’s nothing new to Asahi that Nishinoya was a prideful person. The guardian deity of Karasuno was pride of his reliable nature and of the fact that he can guard the team under his wing. So the fact that Noya was struggling with wanting to tell him about his problems because he didn’t want to Asahi to see him otherwise than the reliable libero is something that Asahi could understand easily.

“I don’t see you as a weak person, Yuu. It’s impossible to see you as weak.”, Asahi said fondly, caressing Noya’s bottom lip with the pad of his thumb.

Noya sighed softly, kissing Asahi’s finger, “I love you”, he muttered, feeling somehow lighter than he was before Asahi entered his room early this night.

“I love you too”, Asahi smiled, shortening the distance between them and kissing Noya slowly. “I’ll support you if you decide to tell the team about it.”, he whispered after they parted lips.

“Thank you”, Noya whispered back, closing the distance once again so he could kiss his ace one more time. He felt safe now, inside his fort and within Asahi’s strong arms, almost like the ace himself was a fortress that would protect Noya from his fears.

 

-

 

A week later Noya decided to have a talk with the team about everything, feeling well enough to handle the personal question that he knew that would come. Asahi stayed by his side for the whole time and Tanaka helped him to explain the parts that he didn’t understand too well. The conversation actually went pretty well, the third and second years were really understanding with the whole situation. Daichi even reassured him that his mental health was more important than the practices, but Noya said that he would strive to be even better to compensate the days that he would be away.

Daichi and Suga also helped him to explain to the Coach and Prof. Takeda about everything since Noya was even more nervous to talk about the issue to them. Coach Ukai said that as long as Noya continued to be the reliable libero that he always had been, it would be okay if Noya had to skip a day once in a while to take care of himself. It wasn’t like Noya would skip practice very often because he usually can keep the grip of his emotions pretty well on week days, but he was happy to know that if he ended up needing to skip it would be ok. Prof. Takeda said that if Noya ever needed someone to talk, he would always be available to him.

The first years reacted a bit different. Kageyama stayed pretty quiet, almost as if lost on his own thoughts, and Sugawara went with him to a corner to explain his doubts because it was pretty visible that he hadn’t understood half of what Nishinoya had said. Yamaguchi said that if Noya needed someone to bring him his homework, he would do it without problem. Hinata was curious, obviously, and kept asking things. Noya didn’t mind to answer to be honest, but it was tiring. Eventually Hinata decided to leave the libero alone to go train with Kageyama.

“I wish I had your courage.”, Tsukishima whispered near Nishinoya when they were doing stretching exercises. When Noya looked puzzled at him, he completed, “To talk about those things with everyone.”

Noya looked at him for a long moment before leaning a little to the middle blocker while stretching his legs, “If you need to talk, you can talk to me.”

“Yeah, thanks.”, Tsukishima said in a quiet tone. His eyes followed Yamaguchi while the pinch server walked through the gym to help Kinoshita with something.

“Yamaguchi knows?”, Noya asked and Tsukishima startled with the question, looking at him with wide eyes, “Things got easier to me when Asahi discovered.”

“Yamaguchi and I…We don’t have the same relationship that you and Asahi-san have. We are… Complicated.”, Tsukishima sighed and Noya was impressed with the fact that the tall middle blocker was actually talking to him openly. Maybe showing some weakness wasn’t that bad.

“But you like him, right?”, Noya asked as they walked to the line on the end of the court to start the exercises, still whispering so no one would hear.

Tsukishima opened his mouth as to say something, but Yamaguchi called his name. Tsukishima sighed, muttering something under his breath that Noya couldn’t catch and excused himself to walk to his best friend. Noya followed them with his eyes, smiling softly before shouting Tanaka’s name when the bald wing spiker passed by him. If something, Noya hoped that his boldness to talk about his issues would give Tsukishima courage to deal with his own. He also hoped that Tsukishima could find a fortress to himself like Noya found one on Asahi’s arms a few nights ago.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll probably write a Tsukkiyama based on this one here.  
> And yes it's 150% inspired by [ @notallballs](http://archiveofourown.org/users/notallbees/pseuds/notallballs) blanket fort [ iwaoi ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7921918). It's perfect, go there and read this right now!  
> Talk Haikyuu!! and other things to me on [tumblr](http://awishmaster.tumblr.com/)!!!


End file.
